I wrote this back when R was 1.5 and E was almost 4. It’s funny to look back on it all now, but it was so stressful being in the middle of it. I was thankful I’d already been working on calming strategies for myself for a year. There were many times I felt like yelling or giving up, but I breathed deep and refocused and made it through. Every time we do that, it builds new connections and memories in our brain- and starts to replace our old habits with new ones a little bit at a time.
(February 2013)
A few months ago I finally made a mind jar for E. I’d seen the link before and they looked really neat, but I’m crafting challenged so at first I just bought her a foldout princess sofabed to use as a calm place and tried not to think about how much neater it would be with the pretty sparkly jar.
I’d almost forgotten all about it until a friend convinced me to get a Pinterest account so I could spend all day pinning things I’d never make find, organize, and share projects and recipes. And of course there was the mind jar, just sitting there on all of these boards, taunting me.
So I sucked it up and pinned it.
Look world, I’m making this! I can be crafty too!
I had to read the instructions about twenty times before I felt comfortable enough that I probably wouldn’t wreck anything too badly. I finally made my list and ventured into the aisle of Walmart that I always avoid-
The Craft Aisle.
I was sure the woman looking at stencils could tell I had no idea what I was doing. I could almost hear her thinking-
How many times is she going to pickup and look at those bottles of glue and glitter? She must be one of those unfortunate crafting challenged people. And just look at her poor girls- how will they ever learn how to make Christmas decorations out of baby food jars like the other children?
I tried not to notice her watching me.
Just focus. You can do this.
I wished I had a mind jar I could look at. But no, I didn’t have one- and neither would my daughters unless I could somehow figure out how to be crafty.
Or at least fake it.
I finally just grabbed the closest thing and hurried out of the store before I could change my mind. Of course, I then did what any self-respecting crafting challenged/procrastinating person would do- I put all the supplies up on a shelf in my closet at home until I could work up the courage to actually attempt making the jar.
But after a few weeks I decided it was time. E was so excited. I showed her the pictures from Pinterest and we started getting everything setup to make her very own mind jar. She quickly decided it would be more fun to play in her room instead of helping, though, so she just came out periodically to ask if it was ready yet.
“No hon I’m sorry, it’s not ready. Your mommy has no idea why all the glue is in tiny clumps, and I can’t unclump it, and this glitter is too big so it all just sinks right away.”
She got upset about waiting longer than she’d expected (almost an eternity at that point- possibly up to five minutes), so I gave her a big heaping dose of empathy and a hug before getting back to work.
I looked all through my kitchen for something that would fit into the bottle I was using and break up the clumps, but I couldn’t find anything small enough. I decided to go back to the jar I had pinned and read through the comments.
A whisk! I have one of those!
(Yes, I’m also cooking challenged- though slightly less so.)
I poured everything into a bowl and got out a whisk. This worked much better and removed almost all the clumps. I poured it all back into the bottle, but the glitter was moving around a bit too fast so I decided to try fixing it.
It probably just needs some more glue. I’ll add a little at a time so I don’t screw it up.
What could possibly go wrong?
I’d already figured it all out now and was feeling very proud of myself as I poured the liquid back into the bowl so I could whisk the extra glue. Once I figured it was probably enough (no measuring! I was feeling daring) I started to pour it back into the bottle again.
Oh no wait..
I looked at the completely full bottle and then back to the bowl- where most of the glue was still sitting. Yeah, adding the extra glue had made too much liquid to fit back in.
Okay.. I’ll just pour out some water, then pour in the rest.. There! Done!
I closed up the bottle and gave it a swirl.
Hmm. Now it was hardly moving. Maybe I poured out too much water? I almost threw it all back into the bowl again, but-
It did move.
And it was almost naptime.
And I really just needed to be done.
Good enough!
I still had one more step but it was the easy part- seal up the jar. I got out the hot glue gun I bought just for this (and for all the future Pinterest projects I’ll do once I’m all crafty). Then I put a little glue inside the lid so it’d be hidden and the jar would look nicer. I was all set to give it to E when I happened to squeeze the bottle and air came out.
Not sealed.
I opened up the bottle and looked at all the parts. I was still confused but decided to try again.
Still not sealed.
This. Is. Ridiculous.
I heard yelling followed by both girls crying.
Definitely naptime.
I quickly checked the comments again to see what could be going wrong- with both girls suddenly tugging at me and E still asking in between sobs if her jar was ready yet. More hugs/empathy/mommy’s-almost-dones to buy myself just a few more minutes..
Oh! The people who sealed it with glue on the inside used rubber cement or super glue.. Guess I’m doing it the ugly way instead, since I didn’t buy those.
I put the lid on again and glued all around it.
Ta-da!
E was impressed.
Both girls giggled as they watched the glitter swirling around.
Nap was a bit delayed but they finally managed to fall asleep. And of course E got the jar back out as soon as she woke up. R especially liked rolling it on the floor.
Looking back I think about how hard it is for me to do crafts, but also how much they have no idea and just enjoy doing something different. I figure they’re worth it, so I’ll keep trying to learn and laughing at myself.
And who knows? Maybe someday we’ll make some of those Christmas decorations out of baby food jars.
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